How to deliver bad news gracefully.

Raising your prices? Cutting services? Not giving out staff bonuses this year? Putting an employee on probation? Screwed something up big time, and now need to tell your boss?

No one wants to deliver this kind of unwelcome news. Quite frankly…it sucks, for both the recipient AND the messenger. But sometimes it’s a necessary evil of doing business, and you’re the unfortunate soul who has to bear the burden. Here are six tips to mitigate the drama:

1 – Let your own emotions run their course before you have to share the news with others. You may not like or agree with the news you must deliver, but there is a reason why it must be done. Find a way to come to terms with it in your mind so you don’t bring your own negative emotional energy to the delivery. Your audience will take its cue from your approach, and if you’re defensive, nervous, weepy, or angry…it will only fuel their own negative response.

2 – Restrict your build-up and get to the point. By the time people get through six long paragraphs or five full minutes of posturing and pussyfooting, their BS-radar is on high alert and involuntary butterflies in their stomach are flooding their brain with negative emotion. So, when you finally hit them with the unpleasant punchline, their adverse reaction is intensified by the emotions you yourself have nurtured in them. Often times, the anticipation is worse than the actual news. And drawing out that anticipation is just pouring oil on the flames.

3 – Consider the timing carefully. Procrastinating often makes it worse (especially if there is a rumor mill in the mix), but rushing to break the news just because YOU want to put it behind you comes with great risk.  A knee-jerk communication is usually delivered with clouded judgment, high emotion, and a lack of due diligence. Most importantly, think about when this news will best be received.  Bad news is never welcome, but you should consider factors like time of day, day of week, and your audience’s state of mind before you decide on the ideal timing. There’s no standard “right time” for how to deliver bad news gracefully…the sweet spot changes based on circumstances.

4 – Avoid misdirection and trickery. It’s tempting to load up bad news communication with a bunch of good news in the hopes of distracting your audience. One common version of this is the “compliment sandwich,” where you sandwich the bad news between two pieces of positive news, like compliments to the recipient. However, this type of approach will only damage their trust in you. You may choose this path because it makes YOU feel better (“Look, see?  I’m not that bad…look at all the good things I’m still sharing!”) but to the news recipient, it just looks wishy-washy and weak. And, in many cases, it can give the appearance of trivializing very serious news and not treating it with the respect it deserves.

5 – Remember that nothing is confidential.  Emails can be forwarded, and social media is designed to be the world’s fastest grapevine. Whatever you do…whatever you say…before you “go there,” answer this question: how would I feel if 30 million people knew about this tomorrow? Nothing tames you into acting gracefully like the thought of being vilified by an outraged public. In one of the most outrageous examples, United Airlines learned this the hard way more than a decade ago when Dave Carroll wrote the song “United Breaks Guitars” which, to date, has nearly 30 million views on YouTube alone. Even worse for United, Dave leveraged that incident and his subsequent viral fame to become a keynote speaker about poor customer service and the power of social media.

6 – Manage your OWN expectations. You must remember this: no matter how you spin it or when you say it…your audience won’t like it. That’s why it’s called “bad news.” It would be completely irrational for you to tell your customers you’re raising prices and have them respond “Great! Happy to pay more!” So, be realistic with yourself. If you expect to deliver bad news and have people walking away thrilled…this will not work out well for you.

And that brings us to the last point: delivering bad news is not about YOU. The recipient does not want to hear about how you were up all night bellyaching over having this conversation, or that you’re just so upset you can’t eat, or that it gives you no pleasure to do this. Asking for their empathy at a time like this is most likely to result in their wanting to smack you. Let them have their moment of sadness without trying to steal some sympathy for yourself. Otherwise, you are doing the very opposite of “how to deliver bad news gracefully.”

So, remember to keep your audience’s point of view in mind when crafting your approach to delivering bad news. And here’s some additional information that will help you do that